The alternative ‘New Year, New You’

The alternative ‘New Year, New You’.

How to seize your courage not to succumb to the pressure and make an alternative start to 2023

Every year in between Christmas and New Year my inbox, social media, reading, conversations and surroundings are dominated by certain words that strike a fear down to the bottom of my (of course very stylish) boots. If we are honest the words ‘New Year, New You’ have the power to put ourselves under great pressure to make a set of resolutions and actions that are often destined to fail through no real fault of our own.

I am standing up to the convention and stress that making resolutions cause as well as not buying into the whirl to create a ‘new me’.

Partly this is because it is not really necessary to make a ‘new me’ but more because I know from bitter experience that this is not the time of year (when it is cold, dark, miserable and finances are often tight) to make unrealistic, sometimes painful choices and decisions that have the opposite effect of making me feel ‘new, bright and shiny’.

I have been thinking about an alternative list of actions and non-actions for 2023. I’m sharing these with the aim (and hope) that they may give permission to others not to have to create a plan that in their heart of hearts they feel under pressure to make.

I am saying to myself (and you) to use this New Year period to give yourself time and space to think about what you really want to achieve in 2023 and not what you should be doing. In fact, if I did make a resolution in 2023 it would be to take the word ‘should’ out of the dictionary, highly unlikely but a girl can dream…

So here goes, buckle your seat belts it’s going to be a fabulous ride.

The alternative ‘New year, New You’ top 10 goes like this:

One: Do not feel a compulsion to buy/read or digest any self-help books. They can often have the opposite effect of making a person feel obligated to follow their mantra, believe that an individual can manifest a magical solution to their issues, and create an overwhelming sense of frustration and failure when this does not happen. Trust your own intuition and thinking. You are more powerful than you know.

Two: Do not (repeat) do not go on a diet/detox/fast in January. However, determined, you are unlikely to be able to stick to it and this can exacerbate feelings of lack of willpower/despair. We need comfort food during this time, in smaller portions if you really need to.

Three: Finish your Christmas chocolate, treats, cheese and enjoy doing so. In moderation, if this makes you feel good.

Four: If you are not a regular exerciser do not (repeat) do not purchase a gym membership or well-being programme in January (even if the gym seduces you with a special offer and free towels…) Gyms will be overcrowded and full of people madly using weights and exercise machines who then drop out over a month. Take some gentle exercise outside on a regular basis and see what suits you best. Consider from February onwards if you really really will make use of a gym/programme and then go for it.

Five: Set aside regular time for yourself and your own favourite activities over the next couple of months. Work hard to create this time in your week and when it comes enjoy it. If this means watching ‘Selling Sunset’ on Netflix and wondering how the realtor agents selling houses manage to climb enormous flights of stairs in those vertiginous heels (go and take a look…) whilst eating cake on your sofa, then enjoy it.

Six: Do not buy (or feel compelled to use if you got one of these for Christmas) a journal, a gratitude journal, a wellness book, or any organiser unless you absolutely feel this will be useful for you. It is a waste of your time (and money) otherwise. Most people know what they feel grateful for, can make an action list, and manage their day without the pressure of keeping up with these journals, only for them to sit in a pile over the forthcoming weeks.

Seven: Make some time to think about the year ahead with your ambitions and hopes without madly writing a grand plan and then finding yourself writing yet another to-do list or not doing anything at all about it. Get pens and paper and start to write (just not in a gratitude journal).

Eight: The only clear-out and reorganisation task you may want to take on in January is clearing out and reorganising your wardrobe, accessories, make up and skin care and that is for everyone however you define yourself. Get rid of, sell, donate what you don’t want and please include that outfit you are sure you are going to slim into in (2022) and now 2023. Without going on a downer and to put it frankly this will be a tough ask, and it is only taunting you from your wardrobe which nobody needs.

Nine: If you don’t already own some, go and buy some new lovely soft slippers to wear at home. And get out of your work/outdoor clothes when you come through the door to relax into your evening.

Ten: If someone asks you what your new year’s resolutions are and/or gives you grief to make some and/or you read a list of other people’s alongside a monotonous review of 2022’s achievements – smile, appreciate and say with confidence ‘ I’m not doing that this year, they don’t work for me. I’m thinking about myself and what I want to do differently in 2023 – do you fancy a cup of tea and biscuits/glass of wine…?

If you are thinking about your 2023, feeling a little blue, uninspired, or stuck, and could do with talking this over then give me a call on 07712582730 or email info@sarahtaylorhawke.co.uk.

I very much look forward to hearing from you.

Happy New Year and may you achieve whatever you have planned/want/thought/dreamt of for 2023 (including those fluffy slippers).

Sarah